My Thanksgiving In Retrospect

Well I had a great thanksgiving visiting my folks and family.  It’s a 600mi trek, but it’s a nice drive through scenic Southern Utah and seeing the relatives is always fun.  There were a few faux pas…

My oldest sister wasn’t able to make it because she had gotten sick at school this week (she’s an Elementary School Teacher.) So that was kind of a bummer – especially since we get along with each other quite well.  Hopefully I will see her at Christmastime later this year. I’m planning to head home for Christmas as well – I don’t usually do Thanksgiving…

The “Air Card” that I had bought specially for this trip didn’t work in my laptop.  They’ve changed the standard from PCMCIA to something else without consulting me.  In addition, the Alltel store I bought it from was apparently an “independent” so the Corporate store that was within 20mi of my folks’ house would not exchange it for the appropriate card – even though they carried the exact same product and both stores were exclusively “Alltel” stores – GRRRR!  That’s two strikes against Alltel this year (#1 was my first cell phone from them needing to be replaced within a moth or two of my receiving it.)

And then there was the religious argument.  Last Christmas it was me and Mom (my being atheist and she being Mormon), this Thanksgiving it was my ultra-Mormon sister and mom (apparently my dad isn’t considered “worthy enough” to participate in his first Great-Grandchild’s Naming/Blessing). Weee!  I’d have to side with Mom on the argument this time.  The Mormons are really a bunch of hypocrites when it comes to family.  Sure they preach that “families are forever,” and extol all the virtues of the nuclear family. But really what they mean is “good families” are white, have a bare minimum of 3 kids, but 8 or more is significantly better in the eyes of the Lord, and go to church EVERY Sunday.  Otherwise they’re just a group of people living together – probably sinfully. And if you visit “one of those families,” you’d probably better wash your hands and shake the dust from your feet lest their taint scar you for the rest of this life & onward to the life beyond.

The Mormons, as well as every other religion out there, have a lot to learn about love. Yes they all play great lip-service to Love, but they really have a tough time showing it, living it, or honoring it. Love is the fact that I’m welcome & invited to spend the holidays at my folks’ house even though I’m an atheist, even though I’m gay, even though I’m not “the perfect child.” None of that really matters to my parents in the long run, because they know love. That’s how good homes work – everyone loves each other – not because they follow the rules, not because “they’re supposed to,” or if they go to church every Sunday, or how much money they make, or because of their various achievements. They love each other just because they enjoy being around each other.

I found it kind of odd that my sister would try to draw me into the argument by asking if I felt bad by not being asked to be in the blessing circle – or whatever it’s called. I said no, and in fact I’d prefer not to be put into the position of having to refuse the invitation – but everyone in the family knows how I feel about religion (the greatest evil ever created by man) and that I’m an atheist, so such an invitation to me would be seen as a snide, shallow jab at me anyways. However, I’m pretty sure that my Dad still feels like he’s a “member” of the church, even though he rarely ever goes to church or reads scriptures, or any of that other dogmatic crap. I do think he’s a deeply spiritual man and probably believes a lot of the same things that most other Mormons believe – so excluding someone like him from the blessing circle would be like having my folks tell me to not visit for the holidays – ‘cuz I wasn’t worthy.  Basically it’s my niece making the same stupid mistake that my sister did when she first got married in the temple. Neither of my folks’ was allowed to attend their only straight daughter’s wedding, because they weren’t “worthy enough” to enter the temple.

Yup – two out of three of my folks’ children ended up gay, and I’ve heard of a lot of other sibling “gayness” out there as well. Which only serves as further proof that being gay probably is a genetic trait and not a “choice.” Even my mother’s Mormon Bishop, who is a geneticist, also believes it’s NOT a choice and that it IS a genetic trait.  Anyways, it was kind of ironic that for a few Christmases there while my goody-two-shoes Mormon sister was still married to her asshole husband in the military and far away from home, that gay people out numbered straight people at my parents’ home for the holidays (Mom, Dad, Me and My Partner, and My sister and her partner).  Then times got tough for my sister after her divorce, her and her five(!) daughters went to live with my parents in their house for over a year, maybe even two years. And the thanks my parents get for housing, feeding, and clothing them is “you’re not worthy” to participate in the blessing of your first great-grandchild.  What an ungrateful, pithy, absolutely disgusting, piece of shit religion that is.

Too bad we can’t go back even just a couple of years and uninvite such ingrates from my folks’ 50th wedding anniversary.  I seriously doubt that my nieces’ marriage will last 50 years.  Well, how’s that for a bile-licious blog entry, LOL.  Hopefully as Christmas and New Year’s approach my mood will lighten up a bit.  


Comments

My Thanksgiving In Retrospect — 3 Comments

  1. Well with Christmas coming on, I’m not nearly so upset anymore about this event in the past. Yeah, it sucks and all, but hopefully my Niece and her husband will learn something from it, and that they’ve really err’d here and won’t do something dumb like this again. Only time will tell.

    Oh well, I’m really looking forward to my Christmas visit and seeing everyone again – not really looking forward to the super-cold Utah weather though. Hope y’all find forgiveness and understanding in your hearts during this season of joy – and tell your loved ones that they’re indeed loved!

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